One Month Done, Four More To Go

 

I did it! I made it through January! One month down, only four and a half to go! Eek…

January was about getting my bearings as I figured out this challenge. Between launching the site, keeping up with its communications, and trying to stay on top of each week’s focus, it was quite the whirlwind. Add life in general and say hello to a pretty epic, jam packed, and crazy month.

Like life, this journey has its ebbs and flows. There are days I wake up and I’m SO excited to get my thoughts down into words. Days where I’m walking down the street and have to stop and write down ideas because something has inspired me. The days I am so grateful that I created this challenge for myself and I’m filled with excited butterflies as I share it with my world.

Then there are days where a new kind of butterflies set in. The anxious ones. Feelings of pressure and exhaustion. A feeling of why? Why am I doing this? Will I complete it? Is this something I’m even good at? 

These feelings have been sneaking around for the past few days, putting me into a bit of an ebb. I feel like the initial excitement is slipping away and now is where the real challenge comes in.

The hardest part is the balance. The hustle. The choice to let go of what life was like before I started doing this and be open to what comes with the future. The balance of work and dance and blogging and friends and family and life and expectations.

If nothing else mattered I would be happy to just sit and write in my bubble all day, everyday but at this point that doesn’t pay the bills. Also, let’s face it: I’d be lonely without my tribe of lemons and dancers and friends (not to mention I’d probably not be the healthiest girl, sitting all day).

So now is the time to learn. To acknowledge what’s hard and move forward, creating systems that motivate me. I need to discover what get’s me most excited when all I feel like doing is watching Netflix or browsing Pinterest. Then I need to hustle and do the balancing act with the hopes that one day things will smooth out. That one day this will be my life. 

Because the truth of the matter is I LOVE the writing, the designing, the sharing, the connecting. I love everything that has come with this challenge. 

I’ve also learnt so much. Some of my learnings and big wins so far include:
♥I learnt to climb and love it.
♥I had fun in a hip hop class.
♥I learnt that planning means success, no planning means not so much.
♥I observed by trying lots of new things for the challenge, I’ve been more receptive to trying to news in all aspects of my life. 
♥I’ve realized people treat you different when you share. (In the past I’ve been pretty private about what I’m up to and what’s going on in my brain)
and last but not least,
♥I’ve reaffirmed that this is what I want for my life. I’m happiest on my computer, inspiring, teaching, learning, growing, connecting, writing.  

So as Dory from Finding Nemo says I’m going to “Just keep swimming” and like the tide, this ebb will soon turn into a flow.