Week Twenty-Three: Kicking Self-Doubt Out of the Party

 

People talk about a fear of success.
A fear of making it. 
A fear of the unknown.
A fear that holds you back. 

I always felt that I wasn’t affected by that fear. Until the past couple weeks. 

My new found fear hasn’t been a fear of success in the conventional sense. It’s more a fear of not being good enough (really not surprising consider how much I’ve talked about being a perfectionist). It’s self doubt, it’s not believing that I have the experience or knowledge that other people have. It’s basing my success and knowledge on other people. It’s comparing myself where I shouldn’t be comparing. 

Starting a business, being an entrepreneur is never easy or clear cut. There’s no checklist or school stating how much you need to have created to consider yourself a full fledged expert in your entrepreneurial field.

As I have mentioned previously, I am working towards building a freelance business focusing on branding and design. I’m completely self taught so this is where that self doubt I’m talking about really makes an entrance. It doesn’t matter how many compliments you get on past work, how many referrals for new clients you have or how proud of your work you are. Self doubt still likes to rear it’s ugly head.

It’s debilitating. I try to work on anything and the self doubt creeps in. I know I’m capable of completing whatever project I’m working on. I know I will also do a great high quality job. But still…just like my good old friend Perfection, Self Doubt decides to join the party. 

I am afraid of the possibility that part of this self doubt could actually be fear of success and moving forward. Right now I am in my comfy cozy little bubble. I work at a job I excel at but have possibly learnt most of what I can from it. I dance with the most lovely people almost daily and I can afford it thanks to previous said job. I am financially comfortable enough to make the motions through life. But…I am so bored and feel so stuck. I feel like I am stuck in a time warp, experiencing the same day over and over again. I am hungry for change. Hungry for new. But this hunger is so extremely, and uncomfortably terrifying.

Thanks to all these fears, this is something I’ve had in the back of my mind for so long and just kept putting it off. I feel this immense pressure that I need to get hustling if I am ever going to launch something, otherwise chances are it’s never going to happen. It’s time for taking action and action feels like jumping into an ice cold lake. So hard to make the jump, uncomfortable when you first hit the water and feels wonderful once you’re used to it.

With that said, I am going to take the leap and I will be launching l.dot designs within the next couple months (EEK!). I’m going to conquer my self doubt and put myself into a place of vulnerability.  Because you know what? I am good enough.

So here’s to beating self doubt, and putting myself out there. I dare you to do the same. Let’s jump in that icy lake together  ♥

 

P.S. I’ve already created a landing page for ldot designs so feel free to go check out and sign up with your email for an announcement once I launch. I’ll also be offering a wicked discount for my first three clients which you won’t want to miss out on. The only catch is you get to be my guinea pig (kind of exciting though right?). Sneak Peek: I will be booking one month slots in order to make our time together the most personal and efficient. Most other designers work with a bunch of clients all at once but I only want to work with one at a time. I’m really excited to see how this works out and I can’t wait to see what we can create together!